coelasquid:

therorasaurus:

so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself. 

image


sweetfucktory:

therealbarbielifts:

therealbarbielifts:

Unfortunate fortune cookies.

I laughed for like 30 minutes about this. It deserves more notes.

Please use gloves


gardenburger:

dark-dionysian-nsfw:

gardenburger:

HOW COME WHEN HARRY GETS BITTEN BY THE BASILISK IN CHAMBER OF SECRETS THAT DOESNT DESTROY THE HORCRUX IN HIM SOMEONE ANSWER THIS???

Because…

Because… Shit.

Can we get JKR on the phone ?

yes let me just pull out her number real quick hang on yes hello 911 can i speak to jkr pls



chloedefencesquad:

dance moms meme // quotes (5/6)

I thinks its unfair because we’re different people so we shouldn’t be compared. When I’m dancing it should be about me and then when Maddie’s dancing it should be about Maddie


steambot-timelord:

ashkenazi-autie:

eileenthequeen:

eileenthequeen:

So apparently in my sister’s class, there was a trans girl that had been on the cheerleading squad for a while. When she came out, the other girls on the squad made the agreement that whatever boy made fun of her would never get a date. And if you think that’s not the most metal girl alliance ever, you can sit down.

Wow, 500 notes

Girls protecting girls.

GIRLS PROTECTING GIRLS


1. Contrary to popular belief, waking up early isn’t going to drastically alter your life or effect how you’re feeling. So sleep till noon and relish in the way laying in bed all day makes you feel a little more human.

2. Drinking your coffee ‘black’ doesn’t make you cooler or more sophisticated than the rest of us who load in milk and sugar.

3. Being unimpressed by everything makes you look like a twat. Get excited, be overly passionate about something. Enthusiasm is fun.

4. Hating yourself isn’t romantic.

5. Eat whatever you want. your friend’s a vegan? Awesome. Listen to her talk about how great she feels because of it while you tuck in to some chocolate cake. Tell her you feel just as great.

” — More Reminders- Charlotte Geier  (via bl-ossomed)


harryedward:

me when my mom is more than 5 minutes late picking me up

image



princeofkawaii:

middleshiner:

why are men always spitting all over the sidewalk? do men create more saliva than women and need to get rid of it? are they marking their territory? what’s going on?

They can’t swallow because that’s gay